1 How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me.
In the first chapter of his book, The Deep End, Pastor David shares that when he was about 12 years old he started to have problems falling asleep at night. There were thoughts that would sneak into his mind that stirred questions like,
What if this is all there is?
What if there isn’t anything at the end of this thing we call life?
What if the end is just that; the end?
When he was 16, he became a Christian and received answers to the questions that his 12 year old mind had raised. And yet, after serving as a pastor for many years now, he says there are still nights when he lays in bed at night and thinks, “I wonder if this is all there is.” Those words are still part of his story and he shares that with us because he believes that “any conversation about faith must begin with a sincere devotion to honesty - being honest with one another but also being honest with ourselves.”
Pastor David writes, “Honesty and doubt and questions push us, prod us and pull us deeper. I’m convinced they help us grow.”
In our scripture reading for today, the psalmist begins by honestly expressing his impatience, questions, doubts and anxiety to God in prayer. Then, and very quickly I might add, he ends the prayer by expressing a deep sense of trust, love, joy, assurance and praise for God.
It requires courage and vulnerability, but honestly expressing our deepest questions and doubts with God, and with trusted friends, can be a powerful catalyst for growth.
What are the questions and doubts you’re struggling with today?
Holy God, thank you for your grace. Please help me move beyond the hurdles that trip me up and give me more faith in you and more assurance in your love for me. Amen.
Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version ® NIV ®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2014 by Biblica, Inc.®. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.